every Democrat: (deep breath) “well actually, the real reason we lost was—” falls face-first into an open manhole
My biggest learning from the election has nothing to do with what democrats got wrong.
It’s about me. I’ve been in too much of a bubble. I’ve been lazy & overconfident in my own analysis + thinking.
My values are strong. But I got a lot to learn about how i write and the messages i create.
Opinions are like assholes the new York times has a lot of them
in this house, we do NOT “give back” to the community. we take from the community, we hoard it in a mason jar labeled “secret beans,” and then we pray that none of our sins can see through the glass
gonna get roasted for this, but if progressives don’t start reaching out to young men, the grifters and outrage merchants will keep winning.
i, too, have been stabbed in the back by 60 of my closest friends. but unlike Caesar, I did NOT cry about it. i took it like a man: drunk & face down in a Denny’s parking lot
I never hold grudges. I release them into the world to grow and multiply on their own. Consider it my gift to humanity.
for mental health reasons I have decided to spend 1000% more time on social media thank you for your support
they say I’m out of touch with reality. I say reality’s out of touch with me. I mean, look at it—completely unhinged and running on fumes while im doing great
the most believable part of Bram Stoker’s Dracula is where a real estate agent is helping an ancient evil being hoard way too many houses
Borderlands deserved an Oscar
“I don’t like that fellow. He’s a proper cunt.” - Abraham Lincoln
If the holiday season wants me to participate, it’s going to have to go about it the old-fashioned way—through bribery and a pack of bloodhounds
people who think Sauron was unstoppable conveniently ignore the fact that Bernie Sanders never got a chance to run Gondor and
I swear if we’re going by announcements some of you jokers have deleted Twitter like 37 times
why the fuck my neighbours have a 30 character Fort Knox Wi-Fi password. You think I’m hacking into the Pentagon? be. more. considerate. of. my. needs.
after deep reflection, i’ve concluded that my shitposting is the only thing holding civilization together it’s not going great
my entire personality is liking the posts where brands pretend to be depressed for clout. im normal and this is fine
Seeing a few folks talk about how young men who voted for Trump will regret it if the porn bans go through. I think that’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the YM movement in its current, Joe Rogan and Jordan Peterson influenced form. Whether they watch it or not, a lot of YM see porn as an enemy.
i am proud to announce that i have finally mastered the art of “meditation”. every morning, i sit cross-legged, stare blankly at my phone screen, and silently plot against anyone who’s ever crossed me. it’s bringing me just absolute shitloads of inner peace