me, sobbing into my microphone: and then the killer… he… he put the body in the TRUNK… (pauses to read ad about mail-order underpants)
if they made citizen kane today he’d be played by Chris Pratt and his last words would be “soo, THAT just happened” with a fortnite dab. fade to black, mid credits scene for the rosebud cinematic universe
If you’re interested in setting up your blog with the new Mastodon author verification feature, this is a great / quick guide:
I have a highly refined palette I only lick artisanal organic locally sourced boots
I have never in my life had less faith in anything, anything at all, anything under the fucking sun, in any universe, in any multiverse than I have in the current polling.
We say we value privacy.
So why the fuck do we keep giving away our data? It’s more complicated than you think.
www.joanwestenberg.com/the-priva…
I’m not like those OTHER girls I’m best friends with the people who want to take away my rights
🇺🇦 Ukraine: Biden announces $425m military aid package; Aussies send tanks
The Index is a free, zero ads news service ft. the top headlines, curated posts from Threads, Reddit and Bluesky.
okay I have taken inventory of my home office and neither myself nor the next 3 generations of my bloodline need to purchase any more Field Notes Memo Books
“Battles are beyond everything else struggles of morale. Defeat is inevitable as soon as the hope of conquering ceases to exist. Success comes not to him who has suffered the least but to him whose will is firmest and morale strongest.”
― Barbara W. Tuchman, The Guns of August
You are allowed to log the fuck off. Ignore the headlines. Ignore the tweets. Ignore the chaos and the noise and the people who profit from it. Go doorknock. Make some phone calls. Take up a hobby. Learn to bake sour dough. And then vote. Don’t let the bullshit depress, oppress or suppress you.
2024 results come in. statue of liberty seen furiously paddling the fuck back to france. “i’ve seen enough,” she mutters
HEADLINE: SITTING VP CONTROVERSIALLY CONTINUES SITTING VP DUTIES INSTEAD OF POSTING DANCE TIKTOKS FROM SWING STATES
they said “trump can’t dance.” i showed them. i did the worm for 45 minutes straight. no questions, just pure, unfiltered patriotic wiggling. genetic purity. take that fake news
whenever someone says “everything happens for a reason” you are legally allowed to slap them in the face
Trump is not a man of mystery. He’s a semi-sentient hairpiece with delusions of competence who trite-supremacied his way into the Oval Office. Like watching a toddler who just shit its diaper try to pilot a Boeing 747 but the toddler has nuclear codes + an itchy Twitter finger and is also racist.
I don’t pay me nearly enough to put up with my shit
Walking into the gym after months away is like showing up to a wedding in jeans
tech insiders going from ‘I’m quitting VC to write a Substack’ to ‘I’m quitting Substack to work in VC’ is the true circle of life
If your child came out as a real estate agent could you still love them? I mean, you can pray for them but how can you support that lifestyle choice?