climate scientists: “we’re all doomed”
me: (chugging a 55-gallon drum of sunscreen) speak for yourself, nerds
what if i WANT the bed bugs to bite. what if thats my whole deal
the “Enemy Within” is Diarrhoea and we all know who has it
here’s why my toddler’s lemonade stand proves socialism doesn’t work 9000 points, 1500 comments
new starbucks size just dropped: “The Void.” it’s just an empty cup. you stare into it. it stares back. $19.99. I’m in so much debt.
Excited about this.
The Index now has a simple / beautiful home on the web that aligns with the social-first news approach. It’s fully ActivityPub enabled and you can subscribe now to get every post via email (as a roundup) or RSS (as it happens)
barista: “ma’am, you can’t bring your own beans”
me: dumping 50 pumpkin spice Nespresso pods into their grinder “this is an extinction rebellion”
saw a guy at the grocery store buying 37 bottles of ranch dressing. here’s why this is bad news for Kamala
🇺🇸 Early voting has begun in North Carolina, a key battleground state for the upcoming U.S. presidential election, despite the devastation left by Hurricane Helene. The storm claimed over 200 lives and left parts of the state without power and running water.
🇦🇷 Former One Direction star Liam Payne tragically died after falling from a third-floor hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, suffering multiple traumas and internal bleeding. Authorities are investigating the death, with early findings suggesting substance abuse may have played a role. Payne, 31, was alone at the time, and police found narcotics, alcohol, and smashed items in his room.
🇻🇪 Venezuela has detained three Americans and two other foreign nationals on terrorism charges, accusing them of conspiring with U.S. entities like the CIA. This brings the number of foreign detainees in Venezuela to at least 12.
🇷🇺 Russia’s parliament has passed the first reading of a law banning content that promotes a child-free lifestyle, part of a push to boost the nation’s birth rate amid demographic decline.
🇷🇼 Rwanda is seeing a significant decline in Marburg virus cases following vaccinations of vulnerable groups, including healthcare workers, with new infections dropping by over 50%. Meanwhile, the mpox virus continues to spread across Africa, now affecting 18 countries.
🇹🇿 The International Monetary Fund (IMF) has reached a staff-level agreement with Tanzania, unlocking $265.8 million in financial support. This deal follows a review of the country’s economic performance, aimed at bolstering Tanzania’s fiscal stability and development efforts.
🇺🇸 California’s dairy farms are grappling with an unprecedented rise in cow deaths due to bird flu, with mortality rates reaching 15-20%, far higher than the 2% seen in other states. Extreme heat in the Central Valley exacerbates the crisis, slowing rendering plant operations.
🇺🇸 An independent review finds the U.S. Secret Service has become bureaucratic and complacent, citing systemic failures and a lack of cohesion in security planning. The review follows the July assassination attempt on Donald Trump, exposing serious security gaps.
🇪🇺 Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy presented his “victory plan” to EU and NATO leaders in Brussels, seeking more military aid and a formal NATO membership invitation. While NATO pledged continued support for Ukraine, it stopped short of endorsing immediate membership.
the war on christmas has claimed another victim. my son opened his presents and found nothing but pronouns.
another day spent trying to make chatGPT say random slurs so I can screenshot it for The Socials™️ my children haven’t seen me in months. wife’s boyfriend is teaching my son to ride a bike. success is near
Let me see if I’ve got this straight, tech bloggers are mad that Apple products have planned obsolescence, but they’re also mad that Apple hasn’t released new monitors in five years?