tired of being told to “count sheep”. im counting my enemies instead. currently at 8,956 and growing. good night to None of them

the death of the politician has arrived. In today’s world, they’re influencers first and leaders second - if at all.

experiencing what the experts call a “rugpull.” turns out DragonBallZCumRocketCoin was not a legitimate investment vehicle. the white paper was just the script of paul blart mall cop

blocking people is better than sex

i spent 10 grand on “THE SECRET FORMULA TO BECOMING AN ONLINE CELEBRITY” and its just a pdf that says “have you considered posting slurs”

life hack: block the word “discourse”

wow. cannot BELIEVE you would dare to argue with me on the internet. im currently printing out every single thing youve said since 2007, binding it into a leather tome called “The Complete Works of Dipshit” & mailing it to your entire extended family

when white liberals call for a “revolution” it’s because they assume they’ll be in a leadership position away from the front lines

I’m not a pessimist, I’m an optimist with experience in how the world actually works

another day of being the only person who knows the correct way to sleep. you’re all doing it wrong and i refuse to elaborate. nighty night fuckers

If you’re one of those people who ‘just love Mondays,’ I hope your printer jams for the rest of your life

I feel like I’d use GIMP a lot more if it wasn’t called GIMP

NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US

rewatched that video of celebrities singing ‘we’re all in this together’ from their gold-plated bunkers and i’m convinced it was a satanic ritual to summon a second wave of covid

Hot take your mother in law was right

new Meta slogan: move farts and break wind

Why centrism today is just political cowardice in disguise—and how to rebuild the middle ground

www.joanwestenberg.com/why-today…

I barely want to talk to actual humans why the fuck would I want to have an endless conversation with a meta AI chatbot of Meryl Streep

“I get why people don’t like Voldemort but if you actually listen to his podcast he has some good ideas”

Good people: “doing this worked for me, it might work for you!”

Bad people: “doing this worked for me, if it doesn’t work for you, you’re the problem”

Shitheads: “doing this worked for me, buy my $500 course to find out it more”