If you’re a Preacher and you’re also a billionaire you’re a Godless, gutless, gormless, shameless, spineless and above all pointless hypocrite
If you’re a Preacher and you’re also a billionaire you’re a Godless, gutless, gormless, shameless, spineless and above all pointless hypocrite
JD Vance: “Don’t think of it as Eugenics, think of it as Usgenics”
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if I had a nickel for every time a right wing/Trump voter/registered Republican tried to take out Trump, I’d have… wait, three nickels? which isn’t a lot, but it’s not zero
every right wing dork fantasising about a new civil war would have died of dysentery in the first week of 1861
Can’t believe Edison tried 100 different lightbulbs before he could get one to work. you know you can just check the box to see if it’s the right bulb? Asshole.
(Bomb squad about to deactivate a bomb) Ron De Santis: “back off socialists, I’ve got this.” (cuts off own thumb, entire city explodes)
The Invisible Threads: How Parasocial Relationships Fuel Digital Obsession
New today on Westenberg
www.joanwestenberg.com/the-invis…
Absolutely love coughing my lungs out with mild pneumonia super fun 10/10 would recommend 5 stars on yelp
everyone’s crying about plagiarism because my “paper” is “100% copied” from “Wikipedia” let me tell you something: I CHANGED THE FONT. I’m the victim here
PSA: any time they call something “fake news” that means it’s 100% the truth
Helen this is the most racist shit I’ve read today you need to log tf off
The GOP right now is that scene in every heist movie where they try to convince the cops they’re just regular guys in the back of a very conspicuous van
I can already tell you my New Year’s resolution is going to be “cyber bully more Nazis” who’s in
the way this dude says “lol” while being an entitled little fuck makes me want to tear a hole in the fabric of existence and chuck everyone into it (via reddit) 
some days you’re the pigeon, other days you’re the statue. the key is to not be the racist statue of some confederate motherfucker who lost the civil war
There is no such thing as a “decent” trump voter.
Me: connects to the wrong Bluetooth speaker once
iPhone: (forever) You wanna pair with that fridge again, huh? Go ahead, jam out in the kitchen. Fucking moron.
Man, if Trump doesn’t start behaving soon Mitt Romney’s gonna almost imperceptibly purse his lips in mild disapproval and THEN they’ll be SORRY
good news: we’ve raised $100 million in funding. bad news: our entire platform is still just a google doc and a powerpoint slide with the word ‘agentic’ on it in wordart
“if voting were actually effective, would they really let us do it?” - every smug asshole who thinks reading Das Kapital (Abridged) once is a personality
Excited to announce that I am now valued at $5,000,000,000,000 because my pitch deck says I’m a robotics company not a journalist
Trump hit the limit on his voter base when he lost in 2020. Unless he’s found an untapped vein of new white people, he’s maxed out. The Lite Supremacist path to victory was hoping the dems stayed home this time, and Harris put an end to that shit.
That’s it. That’s the game.
dentist: open wide
me: unhinging jaw like a fucking snake or some shit
dentist: immediately aroused